Today was the first day of Mo and Ben’s winter break from school. Ben was having a hard day, Mo wasn’t feeling well, and Ella was teething, so it was challenging to find the moments of peace and enjoyment I usually feel on Shabbat. Ben really knows how to push our buttons, and it can be especially hard to handle when we feel vulnerable. When I am frustrated with Ben I try to keep in mind that he is just four years old and I try to remember how much I love him. When he does something I consider really over the line, like being rough with the baby or poking holes in the screens of our porch with the tail of his dinosaur toy (today) of course I react. But, as frustrating as his behavior can be, I try to keep in mind that the behavior is what is frustrating, and not to judge him as a person. Along with the rest of our parenting and our lives, it’s a work in progress.
These are some moments that remind me of his sweet side when I’m feeling frustrated:
I love you Ben!